I bought this thing awhile back for $50 for 2 nights at the Raddison in Branson. The deal was we had to go on a tour of this amazing resort, the Big Cedar, and endure a 90 minute presentation on time shares. A week before we headed out they called to say that we didn't have rooms at the Raddison, would we mind staying at the Big Cedar? It was $269 a night, but for us, a complimentary upgrade. I don't get excited about anything. I said, "Um, ok."
So we went. I lectured Derek (hubby) all the way there. "I don't care if they offer free fishing and hunting or anything else. We do the tour, say no thanks, pick up our free gift and leave. " Really. I mean it.
When we arrived at the front gate I knew we were in trouble. The registration center was beautiful. Deer antler chandeliers, stained glass windows, logs, leather furniture...every outdoorman's dream. As it turns out I'm kinda into the whole north-woods decor kinda thing, so I was sure we had been raptured and were now standing at Heaven's gate. St Peter was a woman in her 50's who called a shuttle for us and had us driven to our room a quarter mile away. 800 acres of trees and mountain and streams...heaven. And she told us we could go in.
We were escorted to our mansion in glory. (I really thought we'd all have our own, but whatever). The door opened. Angels sang. Beams of light shot out from behind the beds. I hadn't expected something so grand! Feather beds with 5 million count percale, down comforter, and wool Pendleton blankets in burnt orange with animal prints on it.
You know on Lord of the Rings where Smeegle looks at the ring and says "My precious!!!" Well, this was now me. Derek saw the danger, and started warning me. "When he sleeps I'll pokes out his eyeses." It would be MINE. MY PRECIOUS. And enjoy the ammenities we did. The canoes on Table Rock Lake, the lazy river at the lodge, the mini-golf. I was Eve only instead of forbidden fruit, "The Cookie Lady" brought us cedar shaped gingerbread cookies every evening at 8 and turned down our beds.
FEATHERBEDS!!!! God wanted me to have this!!!! So we went to our presentation. We'd tasted the forbidden fruit, and now we were face to face with satan himself, and he claims to have worked with Loretta Lynn. But wow, he was convincing. Made it sound great. I was being sucked in. Derek was the rock. About 45 minutes into the presentation satan asked if we had any questions yet. Derek said, "What'd you do with Loretta Lynn?"
That's mah boy.
Turns out he'd sung back-up. Apparently not very lucrative.
So satan continued the presentation (apparently it was 90 football minutes) and showed us what was going to be "our cabin". Our "home away from home." Unbelievable. Then we went in for the sales pitch. "All this and a free set of ginsu knives for $20,000." I was starting to think, hey, this isn't heaven. My....precious???
You know how the really good dreams end up with an alarm and no time to hit snooze? That was my reality. We thanked kind sir and accepted our free gifts (Bass pro gift certificate and show tickets) and went to enjoy the rest of our short trip in peace. Sort of.
I know I should be grateful for the respite. And I am. "He leads me beside still waters and restores my soul" it says in Psalms 23. I know that I have to wait awhile. I also know God's preparing my mansion in glory. I just hope it's made of logs and has a featherbed.
By the way, if you have $20k laying around I HIGHLY recommend Bass Pro's Big Cedar Lodge in Branson. There's a really great guy named Ray Burdett who'd be glad to set you up! Go to www.bigcedar.com for a preview (photos don't do it justice) and contact Bass Pro about the "Time share presentation special for $60." If you can spare 90 minutes or so it's worth it!
Sunday, August 28, 2005
My Extreme Makeover
I had a great ladies' conference this weekend! What a response! The women were warm and encouraging (always good when you're standing in front of people older and wiser than you and teaching them...) and the subject matter really flowed. I felt good about it. My prayer is that God was glorified!
I taught about Extreme Makeover and how it applies to our lives today. We as Christians have a "home" that is uninhabitable. (I will never use that as a key word in my class again!! Try saying it over and over!!) What in our Christian lives makes us worn out, ugly, or NOT LIVABLE?
Our "home" represents our entire Christian lives and how we present ourselves, both publicly and privately when no one is around. Our facade is our beauty. Our beauty depends solely on what's inside of us. Do people see on our outsides what is happening on the inside, and if so, is that at positive thing? Our living room represents our personality. Like our living room at home, it is designed with other's comfort in mind as well as our own. Is it warm and inviting, or cold and impersonal? What are negative personality traits that make others uncomfortable with us? Our kitchen represents our basic needs of life. Is our kitchen full of junk food, or microwavable food? Do we take time to eat substantial, healthy meals? Our quiet time is like that. Do I have "microwavable religion" that works in a pinch but never really satisfies? How about my closet. What is it about those secret quiet spaces that causes us to want to stuff things? This is our sin life...our habits, addictions, resentments, guilt, shame, fear, pain, abuse, worry, anger, bitterness....but like that painting we made in the 70's, we take ownership of these things and no matter how ugly, we don't want to let it go. But we certainly don't want others to see it. So we hide it.
This house must fall. God must call in His Holy demolition crew and tear us to the ground. We begin by going away. Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who built it. In the tv show, the family doesn't get to stay and help...they go away. The house must be built on a firm foundation. We need a really great bathroom. A place where we can go and be completely exposed before God. We need bright lights of revelation and mirrors that reflect. When we expose ourselves before God, we can climb into the hot shower of mercy and forgiveness and let Him cleanse us. Then our kitchen should be stocked with spiritual veggies. Sure, you can have quick devotions written by others now and then. But if I'm having a steak, do you want me to tell you how it tastes, or would you rather taste it for yourself?? We need to be sure our closets are functional. Dump all the garbage inside and send it to the dump. Add to it a space to pray, a place to store wisdom and experience and memories, so you can go to it and pull out what you need! Our living room (personality) will then reflect the warmth of a home full of love. I can speak with the toungues of men and angels, but if I don't have love I'm a clanging cymbal. That's 1 Corinthians 13. Read it! Finally when my house is in order inside, it will be beautiful on the outside. Elizabeth Kubler Ross writes about death and dying. She said "We are like stained glass windows. We shine and sparkle in the sun. But when in darkness we can only shine if the light comes from within." Thanks for reading this far! This is a quick version of my class session. Questions?
I taught about Extreme Makeover and how it applies to our lives today. We as Christians have a "home" that is uninhabitable. (I will never use that as a key word in my class again!! Try saying it over and over!!) What in our Christian lives makes us worn out, ugly, or NOT LIVABLE?
Our "home" represents our entire Christian lives and how we present ourselves, both publicly and privately when no one is around. Our facade is our beauty. Our beauty depends solely on what's inside of us. Do people see on our outsides what is happening on the inside, and if so, is that at positive thing? Our living room represents our personality. Like our living room at home, it is designed with other's comfort in mind as well as our own. Is it warm and inviting, or cold and impersonal? What are negative personality traits that make others uncomfortable with us? Our kitchen represents our basic needs of life. Is our kitchen full of junk food, or microwavable food? Do we take time to eat substantial, healthy meals? Our quiet time is like that. Do I have "microwavable religion" that works in a pinch but never really satisfies? How about my closet. What is it about those secret quiet spaces that causes us to want to stuff things? This is our sin life...our habits, addictions, resentments, guilt, shame, fear, pain, abuse, worry, anger, bitterness....but like that painting we made in the 70's, we take ownership of these things and no matter how ugly, we don't want to let it go. But we certainly don't want others to see it. So we hide it.
This house must fall. God must call in His Holy demolition crew and tear us to the ground. We begin by going away. Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who built it. In the tv show, the family doesn't get to stay and help...they go away. The house must be built on a firm foundation. We need a really great bathroom. A place where we can go and be completely exposed before God. We need bright lights of revelation and mirrors that reflect. When we expose ourselves before God, we can climb into the hot shower of mercy and forgiveness and let Him cleanse us. Then our kitchen should be stocked with spiritual veggies. Sure, you can have quick devotions written by others now and then. But if I'm having a steak, do you want me to tell you how it tastes, or would you rather taste it for yourself?? We need to be sure our closets are functional. Dump all the garbage inside and send it to the dump. Add to it a space to pray, a place to store wisdom and experience and memories, so you can go to it and pull out what you need! Our living room (personality) will then reflect the warmth of a home full of love. I can speak with the toungues of men and angels, but if I don't have love I'm a clanging cymbal. That's 1 Corinthians 13. Read it! Finally when my house is in order inside, it will be beautiful on the outside. Elizabeth Kubler Ross writes about death and dying. She said "We are like stained glass windows. We shine and sparkle in the sun. But when in darkness we can only shine if the light comes from within." Thanks for reading this far! This is a quick version of my class session. Questions?
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Oops...published my title without a blog...
Heya! It's Sunday and I'm at my computer. This is strange because I'm usually at church right now. However, I had to work today for 1/2 a day, so I left early and came home to change into scrubs. Guess what. Not dry. Fantabulastic.
I'm amazed at this whole blogging thing, how it sort of pulls you in. I plan to only use my powers for good, though. I can't believe the anger and hatred out there. Do you people know there's a God who can take all of that away?
Hatred of Christianity is not new, but it's the one remaining acceptable hatred. If anything is good, it will be scoffed at. I know that one day, no matter what you think here on earth, Jesus will return to get His children. And then one day we'll stand before Christ and give an account of what we did here on earth. Did we accept Jesus as Lord? Did we not only believe (the bible says even satan and his minions believe) but also ask Him into our hearts and live for Him?
People have this wild misconception that hell is a party place where the badest of the bad dudes will be the life of the party. Here's the truth-hell was made not for humans but for satan and his angels. One day they will be cast once and for all into the lake of fire, and tormented for all of eternity. Without end. God gave us an out, though. We can accept Jesus (see above) or we can deny Him. God doesn't send good people to hell. We send ourselves by not accepting His sacrificial gift.
John 14:6 Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one gets to Heaven except thru Him.
Let Him in, won't ya?
I'm amazed at this whole blogging thing, how it sort of pulls you in. I plan to only use my powers for good, though. I can't believe the anger and hatred out there. Do you people know there's a God who can take all of that away?
Hatred of Christianity is not new, but it's the one remaining acceptable hatred. If anything is good, it will be scoffed at. I know that one day, no matter what you think here on earth, Jesus will return to get His children. And then one day we'll stand before Christ and give an account of what we did here on earth. Did we accept Jesus as Lord? Did we not only believe (the bible says even satan and his minions believe) but also ask Him into our hearts and live for Him?
People have this wild misconception that hell is a party place where the badest of the bad dudes will be the life of the party. Here's the truth-hell was made not for humans but for satan and his angels. One day they will be cast once and for all into the lake of fire, and tormented for all of eternity. Without end. God gave us an out, though. We can accept Jesus (see above) or we can deny Him. God doesn't send good people to hell. We send ourselves by not accepting His sacrificial gift.
John 14:6 Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one gets to Heaven except thru Him.
Let Him in, won't ya?
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Whatever
YES! A storm is moving in! I can't stand it, I'm so excited! I love storms! It doesn't look too ominous, which is disappointing to me. The heat index here is over 100. Rain will cool us off for awhile. Of course the payoff is a really humid day tomorrow. I hate humidity.
Okies love weather. Do other states and countries have tornado sirens? We have them everywhere. They test them for about one minute every Saturday at noon. What happens if a tornado blows in on a Saturday at noon? When we have tornadoes in the area the sirens sound to give us sufficient time to...you guessed it, put on our tube tops and find the video camera. If you've ever seen news footage of Oklahoma after a storm you know the eyewitness has teeth inversely proportional to number of tatoos, and they are wearing a tube top. "...it sounded like a freight train! All I could think of was, 'I just loaned Mary Jo my casserole.' We're just happy to be alive. The trailer crushed all the dogs though." Thank you my cousin Tarisa for the casserole bit. You're so funny.
We aren't really all like that. Some of us are educated and know the correct spelling of "Y'all" and use it correctly in sentences. We tried awhile back to change it to "yooz guys" but it just didn't work out. Too much work.
Now I'm thinking I had a point to this story. All that writing and not a shred of spiritual content. Sometimes I get like that. If you've read this far and wonder what I'm talking about, you should know that I love to write about my life experiences and how they relate to Christ. Let's go with the stormy weather metaphor.
The disciples and Jesus were on a boat. It started storming, and Jesus slept. The disciples wondered if Jesus cared if they died. So they woke Him and asked if He was just going to let them die. Jesus said, "peace, be still." Then the storm stopped. I don't know if He was talking to the dicsiples or the storm, but at least the storm obeyed.
Sometimes we find ourselves in the storms of life. Do we trust that God has it under control, or do we hunt Him down and demand to be taken care of? One of my favorite songs says, "sometimes He calms the storm and other times He calms His child." Who was that song by? I don't remember.
Maybe another time...until then, enjoy the storm!
Okies love weather. Do other states and countries have tornado sirens? We have them everywhere. They test them for about one minute every Saturday at noon. What happens if a tornado blows in on a Saturday at noon? When we have tornadoes in the area the sirens sound to give us sufficient time to...you guessed it, put on our tube tops and find the video camera. If you've ever seen news footage of Oklahoma after a storm you know the eyewitness has teeth inversely proportional to number of tatoos, and they are wearing a tube top. "...it sounded like a freight train! All I could think of was, 'I just loaned Mary Jo my casserole.' We're just happy to be alive. The trailer crushed all the dogs though." Thank you my cousin Tarisa for the casserole bit. You're so funny.
We aren't really all like that. Some of us are educated and know the correct spelling of "Y'all" and use it correctly in sentences. We tried awhile back to change it to "yooz guys" but it just didn't work out. Too much work.
Now I'm thinking I had a point to this story. All that writing and not a shred of spiritual content. Sometimes I get like that. If you've read this far and wonder what I'm talking about, you should know that I love to write about my life experiences and how they relate to Christ. Let's go with the stormy weather metaphor.
The disciples and Jesus were on a boat. It started storming, and Jesus slept. The disciples wondered if Jesus cared if they died. So they woke Him and asked if He was just going to let them die. Jesus said, "peace, be still." Then the storm stopped. I don't know if He was talking to the dicsiples or the storm, but at least the storm obeyed.
Sometimes we find ourselves in the storms of life. Do we trust that God has it under control, or do we hunt Him down and demand to be taken care of? One of my favorite songs says, "sometimes He calms the storm and other times He calms His child." Who was that song by? I don't remember.
Maybe another time...until then, enjoy the storm!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Grace is like that!
This is not a lady-like story. I apologize to my mom, grandma, my southern-lady aunts, and all the rest of the people who claim to have raised me. To my sister and cousins I do not apologize, because they woulda been right there with me.
I was at work at the hospital a while back and I had felt a little...well...rumbly all day. You know, the feeling that if you don't expel a little you'll probably explode. A lot. I was in a patient's room, a little old lady with a respiratory problem, and the doctor joined us to do his exam. As he asked questions I felt like at any moment I was going to lose it. I squeezed. I squeezed hard, and prayed for a natural disaster or anything to take the focus off of me! And then there it was. It wasn't terribly loud, but it wasn't like I could've blamed it on oxygen tubing. I was humiliated. I just passed gas in a patient's room with a doctor in hearing range!! The humanity!!! In moments like this, you pray for grace, but you don't really expect it. You know that someone's gonna laugh at you, make you the target of their ridicule and scorn.
As my face glowed crimson and I began to open my mouth with words of apology, the little old lady at once exclaimed, "OH MY! Excuse me!" I thought, "You have got to be kidding me." She really thinks she did that. Or at least the doctor does...
YES!!! Saved! I was so happy I could dance! I think maybe I did, which totally blew my cover, but I felt so good that I no longer cared who thought what!
Grace is a lot like that. You work so hard to cover up your faults or at least not keel over from total humiliation when Jesus steps in and takes your blame. He carries our shame on his shoulders and tells us it's ok. How can I not tell people of His love?
Thank you, Jesus, for loving me enough to die. Thank you for covering my sin with Your blood. Your grace amazes me! Romans 5:8 "God demonstrated His love in this, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
I was at work at the hospital a while back and I had felt a little...well...rumbly all day. You know, the feeling that if you don't expel a little you'll probably explode. A lot. I was in a patient's room, a little old lady with a respiratory problem, and the doctor joined us to do his exam. As he asked questions I felt like at any moment I was going to lose it. I squeezed. I squeezed hard, and prayed for a natural disaster or anything to take the focus off of me! And then there it was. It wasn't terribly loud, but it wasn't like I could've blamed it on oxygen tubing. I was humiliated. I just passed gas in a patient's room with a doctor in hearing range!! The humanity!!! In moments like this, you pray for grace, but you don't really expect it. You know that someone's gonna laugh at you, make you the target of their ridicule and scorn.
As my face glowed crimson and I began to open my mouth with words of apology, the little old lady at once exclaimed, "OH MY! Excuse me!" I thought, "You have got to be kidding me." She really thinks she did that. Or at least the doctor does...
YES!!! Saved! I was so happy I could dance! I think maybe I did, which totally blew my cover, but I felt so good that I no longer cared who thought what!
Grace is a lot like that. You work so hard to cover up your faults or at least not keel over from total humiliation when Jesus steps in and takes your blame. He carries our shame on his shoulders and tells us it's ok. How can I not tell people of His love?
Thank you, Jesus, for loving me enough to die. Thank you for covering my sin with Your blood. Your grace amazes me! Romans 5:8 "God demonstrated His love in this, that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Here goes...
I'm a blogger. I have no idea what that means yet, but when my kids come home from school tomorrow I intend to find out. So don't laugh at me to start out because it will hurt my feelings. But later when I'm more confident you can make all the fun you want...see ya soon!
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