Finally, a scientific explaination for my head!
The frontal cortex of the brain is what controls impulse, organization, and motivation. Glucose (brain-fuel) is what kicks it into gear. My brain does not have a properly functioning glucose-secretion system (or something like that) and so when I try to concentrate, my brain goes to sleep. No joke! So telling me to focus is like telling the fat kid in gym to run faster. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just not able. I act primarily within the lymbic system-by emotion. This explains my ease in working in an emergency room. I simply react to all that goes on around me. Because of a lack of impulse control, I will say what comes to my mind without thinking of the implications of this action. So if I've ever said anything stupid or rude to you, I totally didn't mean it. This is also why when something funny comes to mind, no matter how inappropriate it is, I'll say it out loud. That's why I entertain you people so much. That's why you people get me at parties, not so much at work.
I don't have a filter!
Turns out, they make pills for that. I have been researching them for two days straight and I still cannot get on board with it. I understand the positives, but the negatives! I'm not sure it's a good trade.
I'm continuing to have the feeling that disorganziation and lack of focus and impulse control are actually not MY problem. Given free reign of my life, I find that I really don't mind it so much. For those of you who have a problem with me, I'm sorry if my behaviour affects you negatively. I certainly don't intend to be a burden on you-but I cannot compromise myself and take a pill for you, so that you'll feel better about me. I hope you understand that I will find a way to cope, and that I'm making it just fine in the world-even though no one actually reads my blog. That's probably a good thing right about now. If you are reading me, thank you, and welcome, and know that I'm not angry. In fact, I feel pretty good right about now.
I'm not at all hostile toward anyone. I really love people. Except teachers. They really don't get me. Wait, some of my dearest peeps are teachers. So just the ones who pass judgement on me. I don't like that.
So here's my decision, subject to change as soon as I post: meds are not for me. Thank you for reading.
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3 comments:
You sound like you have it together. Good luck with your quest. It's not easy but there are a lot of great alternative things that really help. Have you tried omega 3 fish oil pills? They made a huge difference for my kids.
Any chance I can convince you that using the word retard or retarded really is painful for those of us who have family members with special needs?
I'm trying to get it together, good and bad days, you know. I actually bought fish oil and was told that the taste or smell of it wouldn't bother me if I put them in the freezer...so I did, and keep forgetting to take them!
I apologize for the retarded part-I hadn't meant it in any other way than its literal term-as in delayed or slow. We do use it pretty flippantly, don't we? I work with special needs people and they are dear to my heart. I'm sorry if I hurt you. I will change it, because you were not rude or defensive about it!
Thanks for the fish oil reminder-what time of day are they best taken? Would bed time be ok, or should I wait til morning?
I give 3000 mg. of pure salmon oil to my kids in the morning and before bedtime. You can't take that much in the beginning. You have to build up to it slowly but hopefully you'll see a difference in how you feel.
Many thanks for changing the word for me. You made my weekend.
Best wishes.
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